Pawsible Deniability

SEND BEAVERS TO IRAQ!

2010-05-09T04:32:00.000-07:00

Wanna get the eternal rebuilding of Iraq over and done with?

Put some of my flat-tailed brethren on it.

Happy (Belated) Birthday to me

2010-05-01T10:04:00.001-07:00

I'm two years old now. And still wiley as ever.

My No Tails keep telling me about when I was this big.

No Tails in Australia help humanity reach a new low

2010-04-26T01:20:00.001-07:00

I was all set to abandon the blog until this happened.

A bar in Australia refused entry to a blind man because they thought his dog was gay.

Yes, you read that correctly.

I just...I can't...awful. Evidently, the Australian courts though so, too, because the establishment was found guilty of violating Aussie equal opportunity laws and ordered to pay a fine.

Still. You humans continue to disappointment me in every way.

Don't be committing any crimes against wildlife in MY neck of the woods

2010-02-17T05:58:00.001-08:00

Especially not against elk.

ANTIBIOTICS SUCK!

2010-02-16T05:03:00.001-08:00

And how.

Well, I'm back. For now. After a bad mouth infection and a near death experience, (I saw the fruit stand, people) I am up and around again.

It all started about a week ago when I stopped being able to eat or drink. The No Tails dragged me to the vet, who said my tongue was swollen and gave me Clavamox, which didn't help, and then I had to go back and get steroid injections (YUCK). But my tongue is back to normal size now.

So, in short, HORRIBLE. And since Mommy No Tail still can't use Photobucket like a normal person, you don't even get to see pictures.

I could make the whole blog about stuff like this alone

2010-01-18T15:17:00.000-08:00

Chicago feline saves a couple and their dog from a house fire.

Me likey this lady

2010-01-10T09:09:00.000-08:00

A nice woman in San Diego is seeking donations of dog clothing for the canine companions of homeless folks.

I can't wait to see the judge's face

2010-01-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

If this East Boston cat really has to report for jury duty.

Hee. We'll be following this story very closely.

If my No Tails weren't so damn lazy...

2010-01-04T02:47:00.000-08:00

...you could see some pictures of me. Until they shake of the Holiday Hangover, you'll just have to make do with this*.

*Not what I actually look like--but pretty close. And that's about how pissed I would be if someone tried to stick me in that outfit.

HOUSEGUESTS SUCK!

2009-12-31T05:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I never. Ugh, and blurgh and just--yuck. Happy Holidays, indeed. Strangers in my house, all week. Strangers in my other bedroom, which my silly No Tails insist on calling the guest bedroom (fools).

I hope that doesn't happen again next year. I spent four days hiding outside in the cold, and I don't feel the least bit guilty about it.

Holy shit, this actually happens!

2009-12-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

A hospital study from Australia indicates that humans really do behave more like us Pro Tails, around that time of the month. Hee.

This is the definition of fucked up

2009-12-06T03:16:00.001-08:00

As longtime readers know, there are days I really hate you No Tails.

Jail...for this? Insane.

While in Sweden, watch out for drunken elk

2009-12-04T16:21:00.000-08:00

Apparently, even a little bit of alcohol makes the elk all weird and crazy-like.

I want a new baby brother or sister...otter

2009-11-19T00:13:00.000-08:00

I don't really need anymore feline siblings, but I wouldn't mind one of these guys to hang out with on the weekends.

Okay, Dumb Humans, sometimes you get it right

2009-11-12T12:06:00.000-08:00

Go, Patriot Gaurd!

Man, just when I thought I was going to run out of stuff to blog about,

2009-11-05T07:34:00.001-08:00

a town of fuckwits in Massachusetts approves a "three cat limit" for No Tails without a kennel license.

Um...fuck that. Especially the part about the $100 per day fine for those who don't comply.

Massholes.

An alligator for Show N' Tell makes about as much sense as...

2009-11-02T07:47:00.000-08:00

...well, an alligator for Show N' Tell.

My absence of late

2009-10-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

YOU ALL SUCK.

Also, my No Tail and I are thinking about ditching this project--at least until she can get some hip and happening photos of me on the site. (LUDDITE!!!)

But for now, this pic should keep you entertained. Whatever did that is one fishy I definitely wouldn't want to chase.

I don't love life in the country that much...

2009-09-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

...but I'm glad I live here and not near a frightening South Pacific volcano where researchers just found a "lost world" of plants and wildlife.

How would you like to wake up to this outside your window tomorrow??

Well, I might--if I didn't think it could take me.

Long time, no post.

2009-09-03T18:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry. Prime mousing weather.

The first hunter to report a wolf kill in Idaho says he's received harsh criticism for it. People are (allegedly) calling him things like--gasp--"wolf killer." (Imagine!)

The poor man is now afraid for his business and his home. I hope you feel about as much pity for him as I do.

Get your certified, pre-owned cats here

2009-08-19T15:31:00.000-07:00

They've come up with a nifty marketing idea in Michigan to find homes for my shelter-dwelling brethren. Check it out.

Now, I'm all about you No Tails giving something back, but...

2009-08-12T11:35:00.001-07:00

...feeding bears?

It seems like it's a little too likely to end up in this place.

You want your happy?

2009-08-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

I got your happy right here.

I dare anyone not to blub! It even made my No Tail cry.

And now Pawsible Deniability has a new link for our blogroll, too. Excellent.

Cat neighborhoods and python neighborhoods don't mix, either.

2009-08-10T03:38:00.001-07:00

Hey, python-lovers? Howzabout you keep those companions indoors? This is a bad way for anyone to go.

Ew. Talk about blaming a victim.

2009-08-08T01:33:00.000-07:00

An idiot, child pornography collecting asshat tries to blame his cat for the "mysterious" appearance of said child pornography on his personal computer.

SICK. And somebody free that feline, now, please.

DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND SUCKS!

2009-08-08T01:23:00.000-07:00

Recently, one of my No Tails submitted a funny slogan to the Democratic Underground's monthly contest. Alas, it wasn't a winner. Even though it was clearly very funny. Ever since then, she's been holed up in her bedroom with herbal tea and Fellini movies.

I feel I would not be doing my duty as a feline companion if I didn't decry the bastards who mocked her genius brand of humor. That is all.

(P.S. Skinner--kidding. You know I love you. Don't ban me.)

Another nice save from my blow-holed brethren

2009-07-31T02:41:00.000-07:00

A Beluga whale saved a (temporarily) paralyzed diver out of the goodness of said whale's heart. Good work, Mila. Much more magnanimous than I can be of late.

They are so civilized over there

2009-07-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

Fun story about one of my British brethren who likes to take the bus. 'Cause automobiles trash the earth, natch.

On the one hand, a charming story about my canine brethren.

2009-07-17T09:46:00.001-07:00

On the other hand, a discouraging story about a zoo's negligence re: its panda population.

Two panda cubs abandoned by their mother are being nursed by a dog instead. Apparently, this is a suitable arrangement. But I do not like the part about the zoo not knowing the mother was even pregnant. How could it not know? That is terrible.

Good luck, baby pandas. (Side note: Pandas are not entirely cute in the cub-stage; strange.)

All your house are belong to us

2009-07-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

According to this study, house cats really do control humans.

Wow--really?

EVIL

2009-07-08T22:23:00.000-07:00

(Warning--graphic story at link.)

You find a fawn in your front yard. How does your mind go immediately to "shovel"?

Hey, No Tails--toddlers and pythons don't mix

2009-07-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

Just saying.

Nice. And by nice I mean fucked up.

2009-06-13T17:26:00.000-07:00

A less-than-uplifting story about the dropping of charges against a man who killed deer with his snowmobile. Apparently, hunting with snowmobiles is kind of a new trend for some people. Ew.

For those No Tails who think we have "easy lives"

2009-06-03T08:21:00.001-07:00

Fuck you.

"Shards of glass are not cat toys."

2009-05-31T07:10:00.000-07:00

Or so said Mommy No Tail, after I tried to play in the mess from a plate I kicked off the counter.

What? It's my hundreth post. You were expecting Proust?

RUN MOLLY, RUN!

2009-05-08T06:49:00.000-07:00

Molly, a fugitive from a New York slaughter house, is on the run in Queens. She may be able to make it to a farm sanctuary. Let's hope for the best.

I tried to come up with a clever title for this,

2009-05-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

but I think "HIDEOUS ASSHOLE DOES SOMETHING REALLY STUPID" will have to suffice. (Graphic story at link.)

WHAT. AN. ASSHOLE.

No Tails? Please do something about these sorry excuses for "human 'beings.'" Nobody this stupid (not to mention cruel) should be allowed to purchase weapons, let alone hold their bullshit murdering of my tusked brethren up to the world as some kind of credit to her gender.

ASS.HOLE.

Happy Birthday to me!

2009-04-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

I'm now a whole year old. To celebrate, my No Tails gave me extra running around time today. SUCKERS! (Just wait 'til they see what I did to the back patio.)

Hyperthyroiwhatnowhizzle?

2009-04-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

I just heard one of my No Tails say I need to go back to the vet to get checked for "hyperthyroidism," otherwise known as BEING A KITTEN.

I'm not even a year old here, people! I run around sometimes, okay? And so what if I eat three times what the other cats do? Running burns calories.

Damnit.

DOLPHIN POWER!!!

2009-04-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

Apparently, some dolphins got together to try to stop those Somali pirates.

Impressive work, my blow holed brethen. Impressive, indeed.

German zookeepers save dumbest woman ever...

2009-04-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

...from being a polar bear snack.

My question isn't, "Why did she jump into a pond full of polar bears?" but rather, "Why did they bother to pull her out?" Had a prime candidate for a Darwin Award right there and now we're stuck with her. Great.

I mean, if you catch the videos, they have to smack a poor bear out of the way to complete the rescue. What a waste.

Finally! Welcome, Bo

2009-04-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

Otherwise known as the First Dog of the United States (FDOTUS).

...Cattle dog power?

2009-04-12T02:37:00.000-07:00

(Sometimes I can't drudge up any funny for a title.)

A cattle dog (named Sophie, natch) who fell off her companions' yacht, managed to survive by swimming to shore and living off goats for four months.

And I thought I was tough.

In other news, I ate Christmas tree

2009-04-06T18:21:00.001-07:00

My No Tails have been so busy these last few months that they've neglected to take down their withering holiday decorations, including the front door wreath and that god awful fir tree.

So the other day, when faced with insurmountable boredom, (my catnip chew toy was missing) I decided to take a bite. Tasty, if a little too crunchy.

Mommy No Tail keeps threatening to take me to a kitty psychiatrist for that. Good luck to her (I can still run faster than anyone).

This, in a nutshell, is why I don't like PETA

2009-04-05T17:53:00.001-07:00

Evidently, PETA is very euthanization-happy.

This, to me, smacks of hypocrisy, laziness, and overall ass-hattery. It's like they're not even trying to make it better for us, just whining, bitching, moaning and complaining about how bad off we are (then killing us when they get tired of protesting).

These people have a serious hole in their collective soul. It makes me (almost) feel sorry for them.

My nervous system can totally beat up your nervous system!

2009-03-31T12:22:00.000-07:00

To read more about my self-regenerating feline nervous system, go here.

My newest find (it is brill):

2009-03-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

Loyal readers, may I present to you--Dogblog.

Laugh at will.

Leave my shell-dwelling brethren alone!

2009-03-27T13:47:00.000-07:00

A new study suggests that crabs can feel and remember pain. Just FYI for next time you're at the beach.

POODLE POWER!!!

2009-03-25T17:18:00.001-07:00

I was going to postpone posting until I can gets some advertising all up in here, but this story about a life-saving member of my canine brethren was too good to ignore.

Don't touch the butt

2009-03-08T23:17:00.000-07:00

...or anything else belonging to this pink dolphin.

Thanks, Mr. President!

2009-03-08T19:23:00.001-07:00

Keep 'em coming.

HYSTERECTOMY SUCKS!

2009-02-25T05:56:00.001-08:00

But at least I had decent pain control for the whole thing. Note to No Tails: You can ask your vet to give your animal companions extra pain meds to take home with them after these procedures. Just FYI.

I'm up and around again now, and hope to see you all again in a few days.

You want to take out my WHAT?

2009-02-10T08:14:00.001-08:00

One reason for my absence of late is a phone call I heard one of my No Tails make the other day.

They want to ship me off to "the vet," for something called "spaying." Something about an overnight stay somewhere so I won't be a "teen mother." And how they would have done it earlier except for the ice storm.

'Kay, I asked around the house, and the other cats say this involves the removal of my "girly parts." I don't really know what that means, but it sounds pretty bad. They're going to knock me out for that, right? RIGHT?

So, I've been hiding from the No Tails as much as I can. And being much more hissy and unreasonable than usual. Blogging has taken a backseat for now. I'm not leaving here without a fight.

Quick, No Tails—copy off this guy's paper

2009-01-27T11:59:00.000-08:00

A man who made millions during the IT boom used his wealth to create a cat sanctuary.

So, you're not all bad. I guess.

Water: It's the new catnip

2009-01-21T02:21:00.000-08:00

My No Tails have finally gotten hip to the notion that my favorite thing about the shower wasn't the fun, hissy sounds it made. It was the water. Water's cool.

I like to watch water in the kitchen, the bathroom, the backyard and just about anywhere there's a faucet, spigot or hose. No Tails, how do you get anything done with so much water around to distract you?

New First Family? Check. New First Canine?

2009-01-21T01:30:00.001-08:00

Uh, not so check.

Come on, President Obama! We Pro-Tails need national leadership, too.

Hey, Governor? You're not relevant anymore

2009-01-14T15:34:00.000-08:00

Don't try to murder my ocean-dwelling brethren just to further your denial.

Asshole.

Save the Sea Kittens!

2009-01-09T16:28:00.000-08:00

Alright, I know I've ragged on PETA pretty hard before, but this is actually a decent idea, and rates relatively low on the weirdness scale.

A deceased sister is a deceased sister

2009-01-05T19:39:00.000-08:00

India, the Bush family's cat, has passed away.

RIP, India. It's not your fault you had to live with those demons.

Man, I wish I'd gotten this for Christmas

2009-01-05T14:48:00.001-08:00

Listen up, No Tails. My birthday's just around the corner.

For those who think kitty Prozac sounds a little sketchy

2009-01-04T11:30:00.000-08:00

Tasty.

I didn't like them at first, but after a couple of doses at the insistence of Mommy No Tail, who loves the stuff, I began to see their value. I'm totally mellowed out. So far, this and this are working the best.

Winter still sucks

2009-01-04T11:28:00.000-08:00

To cope, (at least a little) go here.

WINTER SUCKS!

2008-12-27T20:16:00.000-08:00

Hence the reason Ms. Whiskers has been absent from the blogging scene.

First, they brought a tree into my house, (wrong on so many levels) then they stuck boxes under it, (cutting into my precious running around space something fierce) then a pile of ice fell from the sky. Cold paws and severely curtailed mousing time resulted.

In short, I'm PISSED. This crap doesn't happen every year, does it?

Petside.com

2008-12-19T17:20:00.001-08:00

Like WebMD, for Pro-Tails.

I've got two words for this: SICK. WRONG.

2008-12-18T16:30:00.000-08:00

Disgusting. Just disgusting.

Shout-out to my tusked brethren!

2008-12-15T16:42:00.000-08:00

Elephants, in this case (yes, I know other animals also have tusks). Check out these awesome specimens working on their portfolios.

Oh, yeah, Joe Biden got a new pooch

2008-12-15T16:15:00.000-08:00

Three-month-old German shepherd. No name yet. Evidently, his grandchildren get to pick it.

Go in peace, Socks

2008-12-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

Reports indicate that Socks, Bill and Hillary Clinton's cat, is near death. Spare a good thought for the former First Feline today, if you can.

Abusing animals? Not okay. Abusing small children? Also not okay.

2008-12-13T17:02:00.001-08:00

Asshat sociopaths.

FUBAR

2008-12-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

The Bush administration decides polar bears don't deserve endangered species protection.

'Cause those icebergs they live on aren't melting or anything.

"How to make a cat bed they'll actually use"

2008-12-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

Swiped from the Democratic Underground, here is a set of instructions for how to make a decent cat bed.

At link:

"You need two boxes, one larger than the other. Put the smaller box, closed side at the top, inside the larger box. Then put a blanket over the smaller box so that it makes a crater in the center. My cats are delighted. If there's something going on they can cock their head to the side and open one eye."

Maybe we should get some dogs in Congress

2008-12-09T04:35:00.000-08:00

This study indicates that dogs (as well as other animals) have a sense of fairness.

At link:

"Like humans and chimpanzees, dogs seem to expect fairness in their dealings with humans. When two dogs sitting next to each other complete the same action...but don't receive the same reward, the jilted dog stops playing along."

That explains a lot.

Another post for my canine brethren

2008-12-09T03:22:00.000-08:00

Since they're on such a roll lately, I thought I'd put up a link to a great book for anyone who wants to know more about our tail-wagging friends. Very educational, this one.

Go, puppies!

2008-12-08T08:35:00.001-08:00

My canine brethren are having quite the week here, folks.

In other news, I took a shower

2008-12-07T03:20:00.001-08:00

The other day, one of my No Tails was getting into that thing they call the bathtub, the one with the tall water spout at one end. Deciding to see what all the fuss was about, I followed her. She was incredulous, but decided not to kick me out. So I stayed there. For the whole shower.

Not so bad. Kinda interesting. My No Tail is freaked out, though. She keeps mumbling about having had cats for thirty-plus years and never seen one get in a shower.

What can I say, I'm advanced.

Antler Power: The Revenge

2008-12-05T06:38:00.000-08:00

Heh. (Evidently, this one's not a hoax.)

Let's hear it for my canine brethren

2008-12-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

This is great. Well, sad, but a nice illustration of what dogs have that No Tails don't.

I know you miss me

2008-12-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

I'm sure the six of you who regularly read this blog wish I could post more. But Ms. Whiskers is a busy feline. I hope to return to regular blogging soon, maybe after throwing some ads up around here.

Here's something you don't see every day (cat raised by crow story)

2008-11-28T14:04:00.000-08:00

This is pretty cute.

And for those of you who have requested pictures, well, I look a lot like the kitty featured in this video. If Mommy No Tail ever figures out how to use Photo Bucket like a normal person, you might get a better idea. :-)

Blogging ennui: 2; Sophie: 0

2008-11-24T18:51:00.000-08:00

...blech. I am still struggling with my blogging ennui. I don't know what else to say about that except, "Hurry up, President Obama. Announce a cute family puppy pick so I have something to post about."

My beloved Democrats get back to doing useful things again

2008-11-20T17:08:00.001-08:00

Like stopping Bush from "relaxing" the rules protecting endangered species on his way out the door. Thanks, pals!

Update on the First Canine: Not 'till after the Inauguration

2008-11-18T04:36:00.001-08:00

Apparently, the Obamas will not formally adopt the nation's next White House puppy until after they have moved into their new residence. At link:

"In an interview with her husband broadcast Sunday on CBS' '60 Minutes,' future first lady Michelle Obama said: 'We're on call-mode on the dog front. Because the deal with the dog was that we would get the dog after we got settled. Because as responsible owners we—I don't think it would be good to get a dog in the midst of transition.'"

If you need "to pill" a cat sometime soon...

2008-11-18T04:33:00.000-08:00

...these suckers make the task a hell of a lot easier. They make them for my canine brethren, too.

&$*^!#@!!!

2008-11-14T07:55:00.000-08:00

The thirty-fourth kid to be abandoned in Nebraska thanks to the state's bullshit version of a Safe Haven law was dumped at an Omaha hospital yesterday.

The state legislature is meeting today to change the law, as well as add an age limit. So, I guess the "mom" and/or "dad" of that abandoned 5-year-old got in just under the wire! (Fat pig(s).)

No Tails? You shame yourselves daily.

Hey, look, something perverse and unfortunate NOT happening to an animal!

2008-11-14T00:21:00.001-08:00

The seventh severed foot to wash up on Canada shores made its appearance Wednesday. Say it with me now, "WHA?"

Someday, we'll know the whole story here, I hope.

More on the soon to be First Canine

2008-11-12T06:14:00.001-08:00

The reason the Obamas are adopting a shelter dog can be found (NOT safe unless you have tissues handy) here.

This is one bird I might not want to eat

2008-11-11T00:03:00.000-08:00

A parrot saved the life of a toddler in Denver last Friday.

Nice. I knew those things could be useful as more than tasty snacks.

MySpace SUCKS!

2008-11-09T02:22:00.001-08:00

We'll be back to our regularly scheduled animal-centric posting soon enough. Right now I'm irked about something else.

The website I think all No Tails should love, Post Secret, has a MySpace account, too, which apparently got all censored up last weekend. And this weekend. That's vile. Why would you do that to my beloved No Tails, MySpace?? They NEED those cards (helps keep some of them marginally sane enough to take care of critters like me).

Screw the Cabinet, let's hear about the First Canine

2008-11-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

According to these sources, it will be a "shelter dog."

If true, good for them. I just hope they don't go with the ACK-recommended poodle. I can't see the Obamas as poodle-lovers.

Oh, and about that pesky melamine-in-our-food thing

2008-10-31T11:38:00.001-07:00

It's everywhere. At link:

"The toxic chemical melamine is probably being routinely added to Chinese animal feed, state media has reported."

Regarding my absence

2008-10-31T11:04:00.000-07:00

I've been experiencing a severe case of blogging ennui. More soon, I hope.

Happy Halloween, No Tails. Be good tonight.

So easy a dog could do it

2008-10-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

Now why can't you No Tails be inspired to do more of this kind of thing?

A secret every No Tail should know

2008-10-26T07:18:00.000-07:00

This website is cool.

Mommy No Tail, why are people...evil?

2008-10-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

Ringling Brothers has been abusing elephants in the sickest ways imaginable. Bull-hooks-in-sensitive-areas and chained-for-days-on-end sick.

From the article:

"On October 27 the federal district court in Washington will hear the animal abuse case against Ringling Bros. and its parent company Feld Entertainment, eight years after a former employee teamed up with animal advocates to launch the lawsuit.

The case will focus on whether the company, billed as "The Greatest Show on Earth," violated the Endangered Species Act by training its Asian elephants with sharp bull hooks and chaining the animals for days on end."

I wish you No Tails could get along as we cats and dogs do

2008-10-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

Which is very well, thank you.

I have got to get me one of these

2008-10-23T06:44:00.000-07:00

It's called a tunnel of fun. So what else could it be?

I dare you to find a more disturbing headline:

2008-10-22T07:53:00.001-07:00

"Cancer patients refusing care over high cost, study finds."

At link:

"One in four cancer patients or their families said they used all or most of their savings to pay for treatment, according to a 2006 survey of nearly 1,000 survivors by USA Today, the Kaiser Family Foundation and the Harvard School of Public Health. One in ten said they were unable to pay for basic necessities—food, heat, housing."

Nebraska legislature pulls its collective head out of it

2008-10-22T03:22:00.001-07:00

Nebraska's ridiculous "safe haven" (read: ditch your kids on us) law will be changed in the next legislative session.

No Tails? Some of you really ARE assholes

2008-10-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

Some sorry excuses for mammals killed a bear cub and left its body on the Western Carolina University campus (covered in Obama campaign signs).

Fucking people.

More from the "just awful" file

2008-10-20T06:11:00.000-07:00

1,500 dogs (who were being bred for fur) died in China as a result of melamine poisoning.